


The scars that remind us

by sukios



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, Anxiety Disorder, Anxious Katsuki Yuuri, Caretaking, Caring Victor Nikiforov, Depression, Dissociative Identity Disorder, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, References to Depression, but victor is patient, he does his very best, kissing scars, past self harm, they're so important.., victor loves yuuri very much, yuuri is an anxious baby
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-22
Updated: 2019-06-22
Packaged: 2020-05-16 13:38:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,363
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19319302
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sukios/pseuds/sukios
Summary: Victor wakes up with his beloved, but he knows when Yuuri is having good days, and when he's having bad days. Today is a bad day.





	The scars that remind us

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, everyone. I'm sorry I left for awhile, I've been getting over a very tough break up and I haven't the energy for much. My birthday is in a couple weeks so i'm trying to look up, and I decided to come back and write. Not just for me, but you all too. I missed this, and missed how much I loved writing and expressing myself through it. Please enjoy, I'm glad to be back. I plan on staying. (note, i'll edit any mistakes later. I haven't slept in a day so haha.)
> 
> -xo

The alarm clock went off loudly on the drawer next to Victor's side of the bed, a hand detaching itself from the warm sheets and blankets covering the two to shut the noise up. Victor ran his hands through his silver locks while gazing to is lover, who was still fast asleep. Not even  _fazed_  from the annoyingly loud alarm. Sighing Victor scooped his arms carefully around Yuuri's petite waist.

" _dorogoy_ , It's time to wake up..", The older male spoke softly placing a small kiss against Yuuri's temple.

 

The black haired man stirred under Victor's touch, slowly turning to face his fiance. Victor's eyes twinkled as his lips sealed into a smile, Yuuri was such a beautiful blessing in his life. Waking up to this man meant everything to him, he made sure he did his best to remind Yuuri _how_ important he was for to Victor. Yuuri knew there was something off when he woke up, some feeling unsettled into his mind. He _knew_ this feeling all too well. But Victor's smile was so bright, he would anything to keep that smile upon his lover's face. So he put on his best smile, getting the energy needed to sit up and place a kiss to Victor's cheek. 

 

With a couple more kisses shared between the couple, they both finally decided to detach and get into the shower before practice. Victor had gotten the water started, grabbing Yuuri's favorite soaps and body washes, While Yuuri was somewhere lost in though. Trying to figure out why his anxiety was going to attack him today, he knew this was something he had to deal with for his entire life, really. He just- never seemed to get _used_ to it. 

 

After getting everything ready for their shower Victor began undressing, Yuuri was used to Victor being naked around him. Yuuri was very comfortable with his body around Victor too, they've been together for a few years now. That didn't mean he could hide the way he hesitated when he tried taking his sweater off.

 

Victor's voice seemed to pull him out of his conscious, telling Yuuri to hurry up before the water got all cold. Yuuri quickly took off the rest of his clothing trying his best to ignore the faint lines that littered his arms. 

 

Yuuri got into the shower adjusting behind Victor, and adjusting to the warm water that began to speck his skin. Victor turned around looking down slightly to meet his lover's gaze, his brows furrowed as he reached forward. Yuuri gave a confused noise as Victor slid off Yuuri's _now_ wet and fogged glasses, reaching to put them outside of the shower onto the sink. 

 

"Oh, I must have forgotten to..", Yuuri's sentence trailed off, was he _really_ this out of it today?..

 

Victor gave a small chuckle, adjusting Yuuri to stand in-front of him now so he could wash his hair. Yuuri sighed and let the warm water hit his chest, and hit face. It felt nice, nice and _real_. Victor grabbed Yuuri's favorite scented shampoo, which happened to be pine. Victor couldn't complain, because truthfully it smelt very nice. Yuuri had his hair rinsed and ready for washing, so Victor began to spread the soap through the other man's raven strands. Yuuri melted into Victor's chest while his lover worked through the knotted strands here and there. Victor softly laughed leaning to place a kiss onto Yuuri's cheek,

 

"Alright, _milaya_. Time to rinse." Victor whispered into Yuuri's ear, causing a shiver. Then a nod, with a swift motion Yuuri leaned up as he let Victor wash the suds out of his hair. Victor was careful not to get any of the soap near Yuuri's eyes, and soon his hair was free of the soapy suds. Giving a quick and chaste kiss onto one of Yuuri's shoulders, he reached and got one of the loofahs. Grabbing a body wash, of Victor's choice, he began to let the soap flow onto the cloth and began washing Yuuri's back and shoulders. He was gentle, on days like these even _more_ gentle. Victor had Yuuri turn over so he could rinse his back and such, then began washing his chest, then his arms. Causing Yuuri to flinch and come out of his thoughts. He pulled his arms back, and _that's_ when Victor knew what was wrong today.

 

Yuuri's eyes glued to the floor, watching the water pass by. He _knew_ Victor knew, he had told Victor everything. But it didn't stop his anxiety, his thoughts. Telling him how _worthless_ he was, how _weak_ he was. How _weak he i-_. Yuuri's thoughts were stopped and he let out a breath as Victor ever so gently, leaned forward..and grabbed one of Yuuri's arms bringing it close to his body. Yuuri looked up slowly, and Victor was patient. Their eyes met, and Victor smiled so sweetly. 

 

"Yuuri, I know you can't stop your mind from racing. Your anxiety to take over at times, and I _know_ asking you to try and calm down won't necessarily help. But, I am here okay? You are _here_. The past is in the past, you are not weak and you _never_ were weak, moya lyubov." Victor had spoke slowly and calmly, rubbing circles into Yuuri's palms. 

 

With this Yuuri was able to let out another breath, but slower this time. 

 

"You are the _love_ of my _life_ , you have changed _so_ much, and in the best way possible. The past does not define you," Victor gently raises one of Yuuri's arms to Victor's vision. Gently he takes his other hand, and picks a scar near the upper part of Yuuri's arm, a scar that is slightly faded. He rubs his thumb over it as if he's not careful, he beloved would break. Yuuri's eyes squint as Victor does so, But not in a bad way. Victor raises leans forward pressing a tender kiss to the faded mark.

"That mark is a part of you, and I love _every_ part of you." Victor's fingers move to another scar, more to the side of his arm, like he had slipped a bit during this time. This scar is slanted, and deeper where the cut ends. 

 

Victor takes more time, he slightly massages around the mark, pressing kisses to the mark, and the faded ones around it as well.

 

"You'll never have to be alone, never will you have to go through these things again, nor by yourself. On my entire being, I will never leave you." Victor's face becomes stern as he and Yuuri make eye contact again. Yuuri knows by now, that warm tears are streaming down his cheek. Hopefully the shower can hide it, But from Victor? Probably not.

 

Victor's hand finally trails down to the deepest scar, the one that left the mark there paler than the rest of the skin. The skin there raises higher, and the mark there is soft yet pain is embedded in the mark. Victor looks into Yuuri's eyes, Yuuri looks back. Victor has taken one of his hands to rest under Yuuri's jaw. Victor is closer to his fiance now, not only leaving small kisses to the scar anymore, but letting his lips rest there. By now Yuuri is shaking, Victor carefully places Yuuri's arms around Victor's shoulders. 

 

"Never, _never_. Will I let you hurt like that, you deserve happiness and love. You deserve to be reminded how perfect and amazing you are, in my eyes and be damned if not everyone else's. You are my _solntse_ and my _lunnoye_. You always shine, Yuuri Katuski." By now, Yuuri is sobbing into Victor's arms. With this Victor holds him, close and dearly. Placing kisses to his face, and shoulder. He coos words of love and encouragement into his fiance's ear, and soon Yuuri _can_ breathe again. He's okay, he has Victor, and he is _okay_.  

 

Yuuri soon breaks away to sniffle and look up at Victor, the silver haired man gives a heart filled smile. "I love you, Vitya."

 

Victor brings up Yuuri's ringed hand up to his lips and places a kiss, "Ya lyublyu tebya, _Yuuri_." 

 

 

And that was all he needed.


End file.
